Finding Love with the Law of Attraction

How I Attracted My Husband at 50 Using the Law of Attraction

When I attracted my 2nd husband at age 50 after being divorced since I was 30, I used the Law of Attraction yet I didn’t fully realize it! You may be familiar with the Law of Attraction and use it very unconsciously (like I was) but did you know that you can ‘Deliberately Attract’ whatever you want using a 3 Step Deliberate Attraction Process?

This unseen, powerful universal Law of Attraction operates 24/7 365 days of the year. A simple definition is this:Love

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy or focus to whether wanted (positive vibe) or unwanted (negative vibe).

If you are looking for a partner to share your life with then you need focus on what you want that to look like. Most importantly though is how you want to FEEL once you are in that relationship. Your positive words and thoughts are important steps along the way but your FEELINGS are what give your result. If you are not getting the result that you want, or you want to improve your existing relationship there is a way to do this more deliberately!

3 Step Deliberate Attraction Process for Finding a Partner

This will work in any area of your life whether you want a new partner, better relationships, better health, new car, a new house, more business clients, more friends, better finances, etc. etc.

STEP 1 – ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT – you want to be very clear on WHO you want to attract. The Universe cannot possibly bring you your vibrational match if you are all over the place about what this person looks like, what s/he thinks, how they act, what their values are, how financially solvent they are, how many children they have or don’t have, want or don’t want, etc. You must get CLARITY and ASK for what you want – be specific. Start out by making a list of ‘What You Don’t Want’ in your partner and then make a list of ‘What You Do Want’ in your partner. Then continue to get really clear on what this will look and feel like once you have this relationship. You can continue this process by creating vision boards of what your relationship can look like, take photos of couples you like on your smart phone, read about relationships that make you feel good, put photos in a vision book, journal about it using your imagination, hang out where you see happy couples…do whatever feels good to you.

STEP 2 – BELIEVE YOU CAN ATTRACT YOUR IDEAL PARTNER – now that you have done your ASK by getting clarity on who you want to attract you must BELIEVE that this relationship that you Believewant to have is possible to have. ‘Believing is seeing’ so open your eyes to where you are actually seeing more of what it is you want. Be mindful of any negative thoughts that enter your consciousness – just ‘thank them for sharing’ and ask them to leave. Every positive or negative thought that you have about attracting your ideal partner goes into what is called your ‘Vibrational Bubble’ so start to be more mindful of what you are telling yourself. You can also ‘reset your vibe’ by asking yourself “So, what do I want” and that will switch the negative to a positive thought and vibration.

Try using this Law of Attraction affirmation:

I am in the process of attracting my ideal partner

Step 3 – ALLOW IT TO MANIFEST – ‘allowing’ is the most misunderstood words in the Law of Attraction Deliberate Attraction process. To ‘allow’ really means to ‘remove doubt’ and you can do that with your positive thinking. Look for the evidence of what it is you want – where is this already happening around you? Find proof of other happy couples on the planet and keep focused on how great that makes you feel. Another really important step is to acknowledge the ‘closeness to the match’ - be sure to acknowledge that as evidence that your ASK is starting to come to you. I started my CLARITY list in April and I met my future husband in August. I met several men along the way and I knew immediately that they were not a vibrational match for me. I expressed my ‘gratitude’ to the Universe for giving me the evidence that there were men out there who found me attractive.

While the Law of Attraction is a very powerful manifester, it’s important to know that we do not know what is being aligned for us while we wait. Stay focused on what you want and be consistent in expressing gratitude for what you are attracting. The Universe may just be lining up someone who is a far better match than you imagined - so be patient!

PS If you want to understand more about how the Law of Attraction works I invite you to get my free ebook ‘The POWER of your WORDS’ at Empowered Women in Business.

About the Author, Dana J. Smithers:dana

Dana J. Smithers has been using the Law of Attraction since she was 35 years old and she started on her journey to turn her unhappy life around. At 50 she left a very successful corporate career and became a solopreneur. Her mission is to educate, inspire and empower women entrepreneurs to help them grow their business. She is a Certified Law of Attraction Trainer & Business coach as well as a Certified Sacred Gifts Guide. She offers a variety of programs such as one-on-one business coaching, Law of Attraction Business Abundance program, Mastermind programs, Your Sacred Gifts mentoring program. She invites you to join her Google+ Community and sign up for her enewsletter and free ebook ‘The POWER of your WORDS’ at Empowered Women in Business

Inner Shift Insight – Saying “No”

"The first step to learning how to say No to another,
is learning how to say Yes to yourself”

One of the things I hear most when working with women is the guilt they feel when they want to say say-no“no” and can’t, don’t or won’t because of that guilt. I always ask, “What if instead of focusing on how to say ‘no’ to another, you focus on how to say ‘yes’ to yourself?”

For example, you may find yourself wanting to say “no” to the responsibility of driving the kids to school every day. If you explore this further, you may discover that what you truly want is not absence of responsibility, but to know that you’re not in it alone. When you become aware of what you want to say “yes” to and what need you are trying to meet (in this case partnership and sharing) you can begin to strategize ways to express and meet that need. You may not have to say “no” at all.

The book, Essentialism, by Greg McKowen, outlines some passive ways to say no which are noted below. It is difficult to start, but the passive methods will get you moving past the guilt to feel empowerment and self-respect. It will get easier and you may be able to progress to a more confident “no” in time.

1. The awkward pause. Instead of allowing an awkward silence to control your response, own it. Use it as a tool. When someone (in person) asks you to do something you don’t want to do, pause for a moment. Count to 3 before delivering your answer. Or, as your confidence grows, wait for the other person to fill the void.

2. The soft “no” (or the no, but). I recently received an email inviting me to coffee. I replied “I’m consumed with writing my book right now, but I’d love to get together once the book is finished. Let me know if we can get together in the late summer.” Email is a good way to practise saying “no, but” because it gives you a chance to draft and redraft your no.

3. Let me check my calendar and get back to you. If you find your time being hijacked by other people all day and you are unable to say no, you will feel burdened with other peoples’ agendas. Alternatively, if you say, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you”, this gives time to pause, reflect and ultimately reply that you are, regrettably, unavailable, or to make adjustments to your calendar to include what you want and decline what you don’t want.

4. You are welcome to X, I am willing to Y. This works because you are outlining what you will and won’t do in a positive way. “You are welcome to borrow my car, I am willing to make sure the keys are here for you”. In other words you are saying that you are not willing to drive the person making the request, but you are couching it by saying what are willing to do.

5. I can’t do it, but X might be interested. It is tempting to think that what we can do is uniquely invaluable, but often people requesting something don’t care who helps them – as long as they get help. If you know someone who may be willing to lend a hand, make the suggestion.

Saying no is its own leadership skill, and it takes practise. You will make mistakes, but with practise you will develop a mastery of an important social art form.

Inner Shift:
Identify a situation where you’ve been struggling to say “no”. Ask yourself what you want to get out of this “no”. What will you be saying “yes” to for yourself? When the “yes” is uncovered, let go of the “no”, focus on the “yes” and begin to express your needs from this place of clarity.

Inner Shift Insight – Looking in the Mirror

“When we face ourselves in the mirror, we see our "outer" reflection.
When we face our judgments and praises in others, we see our "inner" reflection”Looking in the Mirror

Using the world as your mirror is a powerful tool for inner healing, for we project on to others that which needs healing or acknowledging within ourselves.

When you can see where you are imposing judgment on another, you can see where you are imposing judgment on yourself. Having awareness of this reflection, you can begin to replace judgment with compassion and embark on your journey of inner healing.

We can also use the mirror as a positive reflection. If there is someone in your life whom you look up to, admire, or find yourself saying "I would like to be like that", know that this too, is a reflection of a part of you that can be seen, acknowledged and accepted so your inner light can shine.

Inner Shift:
Who in your world is your mirror? Who and what are you judging? Who and what are you praising? Turn inward to the judgement or praise and see this part of yourself. Now, how can you begin to either practice compassion for yourself so you can understand and let the judgement go, or, own and acknowledge that, what you are praising in another, is in you,

If this resonates with you and you would like to learn more about the process of using reflection as a tool for expanded inner awareness and healing, I invite you to join me for my workshop called      "Stop the Blame Game".
more info here

Banishing Perfectionism Forever

There it is on my vision board – big and bold, the red circle with a line through the centre stamping banishing perfectionismout perfectionism. I am excited, excited that I have finally, really, truly committed to banishing my perfectionism forever. After all I’m tired of trying to be perfect, and of course, it doesn’t work to keep me free from judgment or criticism. I can’t be perfect, there’s no such thing, so inevitably I end up judging and criticizing myself.

But in all my excitement, I’d forgotten a very important piece – that letting go of a coping mechanism means uncomfortable and unexpected parts of me must arise.

It was only 3 days later when an old addiction surfaced quite by surprise. I mean, really I didn’t see it coming at all. I was totally blind sided. So in my determination to get to the bottom of it, and because I like to do things perfectly, I diligently began my work of digging deep into my unconscious. I needed to know why this part of me had surfaced.

I signed up for an online Shadow Course using archetypes. The universe gently opened up my busy schedule so I had the time to indulge in my own inner work.

I learned that the addict archetype, was in fact answering my call to stamp out perfectionism. After all, there can be no absolute imperfect aspect of my human condition as addiction. This was very enlightening, and unnerving. What more was going to surface? I was afraid to think.

But thankfully, that very enlightening piece was the worst of it, although chaos did ensue.

During this time, my email program stopped working properly, so there was the backtracking and apologizing for emails not replied to. Certainly not perfect.

In compliance with the anti-spam laws, because I’m going to do it perfectly, I sent an email campaign with all the right information and a wonderful little link to sign up to my newsletter – all in proper compliance with the new regulations. Only to discover as it leaped into over 500 peoples email boxes that the link didn’t work properly. It was embarrassing and very frustrating and definitely, not perfect.

And then there was the “dogs breakfast” someone quoted to me, as I was helping to organize an networking event for the Chamber. I was given a directive – or so I thought – and in my need to do it perfectly, I took initiative where it wasn’t needed thereby usurping process. Now there was definitely a lack of communication not entirely on me, but nonetheless, it was quite clear - I was not perfect and the perfectionist in me was definitely being thwarted – and it hurt.

So you know that old adage, be careful what you ask for, I think this is a perfect example (no pun intended here, really). But what it really means is that when we want something new, or we want to let go of something old that no longer works for us, there will be unexpected situations and experiences that are uncomfortable, hell, darn right painful, but it’s all part of the wonderful process of growth and evolution.

Ah yes, my intention to banish my perfectionism. I think I am doing this quite perfectly!

Nutrition for Stress and Anxiety

Nutrition for stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety can be a friend to us in small doses, or it can be our worst enemy. In these modern times it seems that there is a lot more to be stressed and anxious about. These are really different times from our grandparents and great grandparents. Although much stress is self imposed and has to do with how we perceive things, there is also a strong connection between what we eat and how we feel.

 Being low on key nutrients can alter our brain’s biochemistry and neurotransmitter health and function. Proper nutrition can help enhance any techniques or therapies an individual may be going through on their path to healing stress, anxiety and mood, and can help to speed up results. It is an often miss looked piece of the mental health puzzle.

Some foods and nutrients that are important to your emotional health and stress management include:

Omega 3

Our brains are mostly made up of fat. Omega 3 is key for positive mood, anxiety reduction, cognition and memory. It is also as an important factor in immune health and fresh glowing skin. Good sources of this life enhancing fat include, salmon, tuna, herring, walnuts, chia ,flax and hemp seeds.

Good Quality Protein:

Protein is broken down into amino acids in the body, which are important for our neurotransmitter function and our mood. Certain amino acids are responsible for certain moods and brain functions, and amino acid therapy is often used to help heal sadness, anxiety and to manage stress. The key is quality of protein. Sources include:

Meat Protein:

Consume leaner meats like chicken, turkey or ostrich. Fish is good too. Go for free range organic meat that has been grass fed and not given any unnecessary antibiotics.

Vegetarian Protein:

Quinoa, nutritional yeast, beans, nuts, seeds, and algae are great sources. Try combining a grain with nuts, seeds or beans to get all essential amino acids. For example, try toast and almond butter, or brown rice with beans and salsa.

Green leafy vegetables

Try chard, kale, or spinach topped with strawberries and feta cheese.

Foods high in Zinc

 Zinc is mandatory for so many functions in the body including mood, immune health, and optimal heart and nervous system function. Oysters, wheat germ, spinach, pumpkin seeds, squash seeds, cashews, cocoa, chicken, beans and mushrooms make great sources.

Other key foods and nutrients:

·         Foods High in Vitamin C  such as Bell Peppers, guavas, red and green hot chili peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, green leafy vegetables, kiwi, papaya, oranges and strawberries

·          B vitamins – Nutritional yeast is a good source of B-complex vitamins and well as lean meat.

·         Vitamin D - found in cod liver oil, oysters, fish, eggs, or mushrooms.

·         Cocoa powder (raw) / dark chocolate

·         Green tea

·         Almonds

·         Whole Grains

·         Bananas

For more information, or to discuss any health concerns, please contact Mindful Nourishment for a complementary 30 minute consultation at 604-831-6506 or e-mail me at nabila@mindfulnourishment.ca

Please check out our website at www.mindfulnourishment.ca Thank you!

 

About the Author:

Nabila Bhimji is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and founder of Mindful Nourishment.

 

Inner Shift Insight – Making Use of the Past

workshop - discover your past lives“Our present is the result of our attitude of the past,
our future will be the result of our attitude at the present"

History often repeats itself, yet the past can be the key to preventing more of that painful repetition. If we take the same action without conscious thought, we will find ourselves repeating and reliving the same scenario. You’ve likely heard Albert Einstein’s quote, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” If we want our future to be different from our present, we must interrupt the repetitive patterns that lead to the undesirable result and change how we are behaving in the now. 

With the close of another year, it’s natural to become more reflective. It’s a good time to take a closer look at our past. I hear statements such as “Don’t look back, you are going forward”, or “Forget the past, you can’t change it”. But our present life situation, whatever that may be, is a result of the past and that past has value provided we don’t dwell in it, but instead explore it and learn from it. Without this reflection, we are missing out on valuable opportunities.

Anxiety for example, is the unconscious (or sometimes conscious) prediction of doom. It is a present feeling of discomfort caused by something that happened in the past and our anticipation of its recurrence. Often we aren’t fully aware of what this event from the past is as it’s been like a rolling stone travelling life’s journey with us throughout the years. But what kind of future will we create if we try to just control or avoid this rolling stone? It will continue to roll with us, perhaps growing larger and possibly rolling over us. At the very least we will stay stuck in procrastination by trying to avoid it. At the very worst we will be paralyzed with self-doubt and fear. But, if we have the courage to stop this stone from moving any further and explore where it came from in the first place we will have an opportunity to empower ourselves to break down the stone and leave the pieces of it behind.

Inner Shift:
Choose a scenario you would like to alter or eliminate from your future. Examine past choices that have created this present situation. What different choice(s) can you make now to interrupt your pattern, alter the result in the future and free you from unconsciously repeating history?

Are You Distracted

Is distraction sabotaging your best efforts?

Sometimes distraction is a tap on our shoulder from within telling us that we are off track.  We have strayed from our original intention that fed our deepest sense of self - our true desire and intention. This distraction, or straying, can be disguised as procrastination, lack of organization or the feeling of being too busy.  And yes, although these situations can be true, sometimes it is a sign that we need to delve deeper into our motives.

I have a client I’ll call “stuck Steve”. Due to confidentiality I need to be vague here.  But I can tell you he is a self-employed entrepreneur.  He came to see me because he wanted help with his self-diagnosed condition of chronic procrastination. He felt lost, foolish, depressed even.  He felt a failure, harming his business and his family through his lack of drive. And the frustrating part was, he knew what he needed to do, and just wasn’t doing it.  Or so he thought. 

He felt that he was stuck in procrastination because he was buried under mounds of paperwork and lack of organization.  Or, the big one - fear.  Fear of what, he didn’t know but he was willing to face that there could be something in his subconscious that was holding him back. 

As we explored his experience of himself and his life, we uncovered all the clutter and chatter that was deafening him to his inner voice.  Steve was able to understand that “tap on the shoulder” and it was very different from what he had suspected.  It wasn’t because deep down he was inept or incapable, it was because he had lost sight of his purpose - his inner calling that was the driving force in his entrepreneurial journey. Somewhere along the path a subconscious part of him had pulled him away.  It wasn’t fear for Steve, but an unconscious, old belief that was no longer relevant.  Steve was able to retrace his steps, get back in alignment with his purpose and experience his passion and desire for his work.  Oh, and yes, he did indeed need an assistant, but now he knew exactly what for.

Fortunately for Steve, he hadn’t drifted too far for too long, but that is not always the case.

We can find ourselves “distracted” by many others things - lack of confidence, upper limit syndrome, depression, anxiety, taking care of others and even poor health to name a few.  But we can always, always uncover our inner calling and realign ourselves with our deepest desires - our purpose.

So if you hear yourself say - What am I doing?  Why am I not doing….?  How did I get here? What’s going on?

Stop, and feel the tap on your shoulder, and know that your inner voice is calling you.

Inner Shift Insight – Destiny

self help "Destiny can be choice, rather than chance"

We are creating our destiny every moment of every day each time we make a decision to take action.  And every action is a result of our thoughts and feelings in response to our beliefs. If you are paying attention to your thoughts, if you are aware of your feelings, if you are curious about your beliefs and what drives you, then you will take action that is intentionally chosen.  You will be in charge of your destiny and able to create the life you want.

When I say Destiny here I am referring to purpose.  Choosing to live life purposefully, choosing our destiny.

When we are living with purpose, no matter what that purpose might be, life flows, life is easier.  We are happy and content - living our best life with peace of mind.  I know that since the day I discovered my purpose, I have not once, even in the ups and downs, felt empty or confused or lonely. 

There are times when we feel lost or stuck.  Maybe we take our life in a direction that was chosen for us instead of our choosing.  Or opportunities and choices seem limited or out of reach.  Or we are just too busy and it’s too easy to distract or avoid.  In any case we are floundering and sometimes we don’t even know it.  But our unconscious knows deep within us, what is really meant for us.  Sure we can fool ourselves for a while, but eventually we become ill, or depressed, or have that feeling that something just isn’t right, something is missing - a sense of emptiness deep inside us that nags us from the peripheral.  But these experiences are gifts, if we listen to the message.

You can uncover all the garbage and clutter and chatter that is deafening you to your inner voice.  As you uncover your deepest desires, as you discover your untapped talents, as you courageously face your present situation, your true self will emerge. You will shift and grow.  You will move forward in life with confidence and purpose. You will feel fulfilled, content and life will flow – ahhh, peace.

So if you are one of the many who hear yourself say –What am I doing with my life?   How did I get here?  Why am I not doing what I know I need to do? 

Stop, feel and listen. Your inner voice is calling.

Inner Shift:
Make a list of things you would like to create.  Explore your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it. What action can you take today that will move you toward choosing your destiny.